How it began...

Occasionally, since we've been together, D would get a bug in his pants about Military Service.  "I should really go down to the recruiter's office," he'd say, or, "I was looking again at USAF job listings today." 

Then one day, as I sat on the couch after a long day with my 8th graders, he said casually, "I called the recruiter's office today.  I have a meeting at 0900 on Thursday."  I wish that there was a snapshot of my face at that moment.

You see, I'd always known that military service was something D thought about.  Something that he talked about.  Never had I foreseen that he would actually go through with it.  Don't mistake me for saying that my husband doesn't follow through, because that's totally not true.  It's more that when it would come up, we'd move on to talking about our graduate studies or our plans for having kids in the next few years and to me, it was impossible.  We couldn't do it all - military service wouldn't fit into our lives.  We had too much going on.

I had known that a blown knee during Racquetball in college, among other stupid college ideas, had ruined his Air Force ROTC opportunity.  The USAF has the luxury of being picky when recruiting Airmen (or 2nd Lieutenants, as the case may be) so one strike and you're out.  Since D is an Air Force brat, I thought for sure he'd never join another branch.  See there, I'd tell myself after the latest bout of Military Talk, it's fine.  He would never join the Army.  Did I mention I was wrong?

There were several obstacles to D's enlistment, but he was determined.  Just before Thanksgiving, he went on a diet.  He started getting up at 0530 to exercise.  He began building his application for security clearance - which let me tell you, is a feat all in itself.  He lost almost 30 pounds by the second week of December, when his recruiter taped him under the Army physical fitness requirements.

During this time, there were a lot of tears on my part.  I had never envisioned myself as a military wife - this wasn't the plan that we had built over the previous 4 years of our relationship.  But when you love someone, how do you say no?  Could you look at your husband and tell him he couldn't pursue his goals?  I couldn't.

I had a lot of people tell me I should have.  "You can say no, M," my friends insisted.  "This is madness!"  But I remember my wedding vows - I said these words:  I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.  I had promised.

A lot of my tears were due to founded fears.  What if he gets deployed?  How will this change our plan for a family?  What if he gets deployed?  What if he gets deployed and killed?  My brain had skipped right over several steps to seeing myself dressed all in black and laying a rose on the top of his coffin, holding the hands of hypothetical children. 

To D, he was killing two birds with one stone:  ensuring our future financial security and following through on his compulsion to serve God and Country.  Where I saw deployments and time away from each other, D saw opportunity. 

So, now here we are.  D's ship date is 1 June.  I've been caught between wishing the last two weeks of school will fly by and wanting to pause indefinitely on the last weekend in May.  Since we've been together - which is going on five years now - we haven't been apart for more than a 3-day weekend that either of us can recall.

Maybe that's what I should do - just look at the 12 weeks of BCT as an extended 3-day weekend.  D, of course, will be kept busy and will have hardly any time for reflecting on the wife he left at home.  I, on the other hand, will be sleeping in my half-empty bed in our half-empty house praying for 12 Aug to arrive quickly.  I have arranged to be working this summer and plan to visit friends and family that school and work have prevented me from seeing often enough, but I know I'll see something funny and want to send  him a text about it, or will do something exciting and will want to call him right on the spot.

I'll have to settle for pen and paper.  I'll have to store all my memories to share with him when he gets back.  Since his orders are for Ft. Sill, an Army base just a couple of hours from where we live, I've joked that if anyone asks about the lonely woman waving forlornly from the gates it will be me.  He laughs, but then gives me a look because he knows I'll be tempted to do that very thing.

D says that the rewards will be worth the price, but I guess we'll have to see.  All I know is that he is worth every tear I cry, every lonely night.  He is worth every homecoming kiss and every envelope I'll lick.  We've been guarding our time together now very closely - we're very protective of it, like we're storing up moments in a bank to be withdrawn while we're apart.

We're strong, though, and we'll get through on stored-up memories.  Because I promised.

Introducing: the Weekend Warrior and his Wife

When my husband enlisted in Dec 2010, it changed our lives.  I decided then that I wanted to record our journey, but wanted to wait until the First Real Change:  Basic Combat Training.  His ship date is looming ever nearer, so here I am, wasting a perfectly good Saturday afternoon designing (poorly) my ARNG Wife blog.

Who are we?  We're young educators in the heart of Oklahoma, married just over a year.  We're both in graduate school.  We live in the suburbs in a house big enough to accommodate the children we'll (hopefully) have in the next few years with two dogs who think they're our children.  To keep this business slightly anonymous, we'll just go by our first initials, M (that's me!) and D (my husband).

We work hard.  Full time jobs and part time jobs and graduate school keep us busy, but we cherish the time we have together.  Especially now - we're T-minus 16 days till BCT.

More than just ramblings about our "Army" experience - in quotes because not even for a second do I think I could handle a full-time soldier - I want to chronicle how it changes our lives - the hard times, the good times, laughter, and tears.

D is incredibly humble about his service - it's something he has felt he needed to do for his entire life - but I'm so proud of him.  In telling our story, I'll start at the beginning - the few weeks leading up to enlistment - and keep going.  Who knows - maybe for 20 years until D is eligible for retirement!

~~M